There are horrible events that happen all over the world at every second of the day. We don't know about them, until it happens close to home. Over the weekend here a 13 year old girl was murdered. She went out for a jog and never returned. Her body was found shortly after. She was a talented and gifted child attending a school for creative and performing arts. It is a tragic story.
What is more tragic is the man who is accused of killing her has a long history. This is a prime example of why something needs done to our justice system. Here is a short list of what this man has done in the past:
-Was sentenced in 1987 to spend seven to 25 years in prison on charges of voluntary manslaughter and aggravated arson. He was 18 at the time, was charged with murder and arson for assaulting a woman, dousing her with lighter fluid and setting fire to her. He served 16 years and was released on parole Sept. 3, 2003
-That October he was released from probation for that crime.
-Three months later he was accused of breaking into a woman’s home and raping her. He was acquitted of that charge.
-In 2007, he was found guilty of putting a knife to the neck of an 18-month-old child.
- That same year he was accused of exposing himself to a 13-year-old girl.
- Was ordered to live at sex offenders program home where he was ordered to leave that facility on Feb. 27, after he was caught fighting with an inmate. He parole officer was notified and he could not be located. The search went on for a week..a warrant was issued for his arrest after he is accused of breaking into a man’s home and repeatedly stabbing him with scissors on March 1,
-Then five days later, he is accused of threatening the mother of his child with a knife, a violation of a protection order put in place in 2007
-Now this Sunday, March 15, the police finally found him and have arrested him for the murder of this 13 year old girl.
WHY??? This sickens me...I'm all for an 'eye for an eye'. Hey Obama...why don't we use some of the stimulus money for building more jail space for disgusting people like this and get tougher on them! This is just ridiculous.
My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of this little girl...
Monday, March 9, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Spring!!
Has it finally arrived?? As I type this I am sitting on my patio in short sleeves and sandals...is this real? It is March and there is no cold today? Is the end to winter finally in sight?
Don't get me wrong, I love the snow. I adore walking in it, seeing it fall and being bundled up. This winter, though, I've had it! :) I am more ready for the spring and summer than I have ever been. I think I say this every year though! Does that mean I am getting old??? Will I become a snowbird in 15 years? I doubt it, I love the seasons too much!
Short and sweet post, I'm off to enjoy this weather. Clean out my vehicle that has been screaming 'clean me!' for the past 2 weeks.
Hope the weather is just your style where you sit today! :)
Don't get me wrong, I love the snow. I adore walking in it, seeing it fall and being bundled up. This winter, though, I've had it! :) I am more ready for the spring and summer than I have ever been. I think I say this every year though! Does that mean I am getting old??? Will I become a snowbird in 15 years? I doubt it, I love the seasons too much!
Short and sweet post, I'm off to enjoy this weather. Clean out my vehicle that has been screaming 'clean me!' for the past 2 weeks.
Hope the weather is just your style where you sit today! :)
Sunday, March 1, 2009
The Past
Why do I continue to let my past define me? Why do I continue to think that every man that I date(not that there have been a lot!) is ultimately going to cheat on me? Why do I think that they are all out to get and hurt me? That it is a man's intention to cheat on me? Why do I think like this? Why can't I let it go?
I jumped to the biggest and worst conclusion tonight. I didn't stop to think that *gasp* I could be wrong. I didn't stop to think that it was not what I thought. If I lose what I love, I have no one to blame but myself. Does the saying 'the devil made me do it?' work in this case? Will that save me?
I saw a picture online of **** and another service member(the female type) with a saying of how she missed him and couldn't wait to be in his arms. So what did I think???? Did I stop to think that IF he was going behind my back that he would not be adding her as a friend with that as a picture knowing full well that I would see it? No, I didn't. I let my past and what others have done to me come back to the front of my mind. I didn't put my trust in him like I said I would. Did I not remember something? That this is the same man that, 2 weeks after we started dating and there was nothing in stone that we were exclusive, told me that he had a date BEFORE he went on it? Did I not remember that there was nothing in stone at that point and he didn't have to tell me anything like that..but that he did it because he is an honest man?? No I didn't. I let Satan grab hold of me and my fears and totally play me.
I need to remember that Satan is not playing games. That he plays for keeps. That when he slings dirt he does it to hurt and hurt hard. I can hear him laughing at me right now. I can hear him saying that he did it this time...and won. No, the ultimate win will be if **** steps back and walks from me. If **** decides that I'm not worth the trouble. That is when he will truly win. I'm praying that is not what happens.
When am I going to learn that my past should not define me?
I jumped to the biggest and worst conclusion tonight. I didn't stop to think that *gasp* I could be wrong. I didn't stop to think that it was not what I thought. If I lose what I love, I have no one to blame but myself. Does the saying 'the devil made me do it?' work in this case? Will that save me?
I saw a picture online of **** and another service member(the female type) with a saying of how she missed him and couldn't wait to be in his arms. So what did I think???? Did I stop to think that IF he was going behind my back that he would not be adding her as a friend with that as a picture knowing full well that I would see it? No, I didn't. I let my past and what others have done to me come back to the front of my mind. I didn't put my trust in him like I said I would. Did I not remember something? That this is the same man that, 2 weeks after we started dating and there was nothing in stone that we were exclusive, told me that he had a date BEFORE he went on it? Did I not remember that there was nothing in stone at that point and he didn't have to tell me anything like that..but that he did it because he is an honest man?? No I didn't. I let Satan grab hold of me and my fears and totally play me.
I need to remember that Satan is not playing games. That he plays for keeps. That when he slings dirt he does it to hurt and hurt hard. I can hear him laughing at me right now. I can hear him saying that he did it this time...and won. No, the ultimate win will be if **** steps back and walks from me. If **** decides that I'm not worth the trouble. That is when he will truly win. I'm praying that is not what happens.
When am I going to learn that my past should not define me?
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
What to do...
What to do about my ex husband. Long story made short. After 8 years of marriage and two kids, he cheated on me and got the woman pregnant. Left me and the kids(quite possibly use the word abandon) to move in with her. He became the nastiest man around and did a Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde on me. I am no saint but I did what I had to do to protect the boys and I. After a nasty divorce, insert surprise surprise here, he and the woman split up. He and I became friendly. I gave the whole thing over to God and forgave him for all he had done. I became a much happier person and Mom.
Fast forward...I go out of my way to make a good relationship with him. I have even babysat his fiance's kids for free. Twice!! Once because she was in a bind and the second time so they could go out! Since she is going to be his wife, I've made every effort to smooth things for the kids sake. I do like her, don't get me wrong. I think she is a sweet girl.
Lately, though, he has turned nasty again. He treats me like I am the one that has done him wrong. According to the divorce he has VERY limited visitation with the boys. I don't go by that though. I let him see them whenever he wants, he gets them on his days off. I don't think the boys should be dictated when they can see their Dad. I want there to be respect between he and I. There has been..but like I said, lately it has gone away on his part. He did not even have the boys call me on my birthday. I gave him a 2 week notice that I would be out of town with the boys on his days...so a day prior he gets on me and tells me that I should have reminded him. I'm not his wife anymore!! I should not have to do that! Over Christmas break he wanted me to PAY him to watch the boys so they would not have to go into daycare on their break.
I know this post is all over the place and I apologize, but it's frustrating. I'm doing my best to be a good Christian and to try to forgive and forget. I feel like I am falling short. The saying, the nice guy finishes last is how I feel. I feel like I am getting walked all over by him...how do I continue to do what I think is best for the boys...make this easier on them and still walk away with dignity on my part? For his wedding in May(I was invited) he wants me to help him out as much as possible with it. What??? Is that my job? To babysit the boys while he and his family and new family enjoy? I don't get it!!!
Just very frustrated right now...very frustrated.
Fast forward...I go out of my way to make a good relationship with him. I have even babysat his fiance's kids for free. Twice!! Once because she was in a bind and the second time so they could go out! Since she is going to be his wife, I've made every effort to smooth things for the kids sake. I do like her, don't get me wrong. I think she is a sweet girl.
Lately, though, he has turned nasty again. He treats me like I am the one that has done him wrong. According to the divorce he has VERY limited visitation with the boys. I don't go by that though. I let him see them whenever he wants, he gets them on his days off. I don't think the boys should be dictated when they can see their Dad. I want there to be respect between he and I. There has been..but like I said, lately it has gone away on his part. He did not even have the boys call me on my birthday. I gave him a 2 week notice that I would be out of town with the boys on his days...so a day prior he gets on me and tells me that I should have reminded him. I'm not his wife anymore!! I should not have to do that! Over Christmas break he wanted me to PAY him to watch the boys so they would not have to go into daycare on their break.
I know this post is all over the place and I apologize, but it's frustrating. I'm doing my best to be a good Christian and to try to forgive and forget. I feel like I am falling short. The saying, the nice guy finishes last is how I feel. I feel like I am getting walked all over by him...how do I continue to do what I think is best for the boys...make this easier on them and still walk away with dignity on my part? For his wedding in May(I was invited) he wants me to help him out as much as possible with it. What??? Is that my job? To babysit the boys while he and his family and new family enjoy? I don't get it!!!
Just very frustrated right now...very frustrated.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
7 Years Ago
Seven years ago today, my baby munchkin(as I like to call him) came into this world. I am still trying to wrap my head around it. That my baby is 7! A walking, talking, reading, math-doing, funny little guy.
I spent 6 months sick as ever with him. He hardly ever moved but he sucked the life out of me. My hair was falling out, my nails were gone, I lost 25 lbs...one day I could eat one food and the next day I couldn't even think of it without becoming sick. I was convinced that I was having a girl. Even after the initial ultrasound that showed he was a boy, I thought they were wrong. I began to have growth ultrasounds starting at 34 weeks because of how big Wyatt had been born. From the start of the pregnancy I was told, depending on what they showed, I would be induced to prevent another big baby. Then the balloon busted. The Dr's met and decided against it. I remember crying to my midwife. Telling her how hard it was to recover from Wyatt. So imagine my surprise when I went in for my 35 week growth ultrasound and they told me he was about 9lbs 9oz!!
My midwife decided to do an exam just to 'see' if anything was progressing. Imagine her face & mine, when she told me I was 5cm dilated!!! She yelled at me to get upstairs to the labor deck. I told her I needed to go home and get my husband! lol When I came back to the house and grabbed my bag I told Dan that I was having him today, he didn't believe me. It wasn't until I stood at the door with my bag and putting shoes on Wyatt that he did.
Four hours later my Norm was born. A head full, and I mean a head full, of jet black hair. Not a peep was made by him. He was the quietest baby I've ever heard. He just curled right up with Momma...and went to sleep. It was love at first sight. He continues to be my little cuddler, my little partner...my snug bug.
Happy Birthday Logan!!!
**oh..the final weight 5 hours after the ultrasound....10lbs 10oz**** :)
I spent 6 months sick as ever with him. He hardly ever moved but he sucked the life out of me. My hair was falling out, my nails were gone, I lost 25 lbs...one day I could eat one food and the next day I couldn't even think of it without becoming sick. I was convinced that I was having a girl. Even after the initial ultrasound that showed he was a boy, I thought they were wrong. I began to have growth ultrasounds starting at 34 weeks because of how big Wyatt had been born. From the start of the pregnancy I was told, depending on what they showed, I would be induced to prevent another big baby. Then the balloon busted. The Dr's met and decided against it. I remember crying to my midwife. Telling her how hard it was to recover from Wyatt. So imagine my surprise when I went in for my 35 week growth ultrasound and they told me he was about 9lbs 9oz!!
My midwife decided to do an exam just to 'see' if anything was progressing. Imagine her face & mine, when she told me I was 5cm dilated!!! She yelled at me to get upstairs to the labor deck. I told her I needed to go home and get my husband! lol When I came back to the house and grabbed my bag I told Dan that I was having him today, he didn't believe me. It wasn't until I stood at the door with my bag and putting shoes on Wyatt that he did.
Four hours later my Norm was born. A head full, and I mean a head full, of jet black hair. Not a peep was made by him. He was the quietest baby I've ever heard. He just curled right up with Momma...and went to sleep. It was love at first sight. He continues to be my little cuddler, my little partner...my snug bug.
Happy Birthday Logan!!!
**oh..the final weight 5 hours after the ultrasound....10lbs 10oz**** :)
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Sunday Mornings
Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
This verse has special meaning to me. It was the first verse that I ever memorized. I was about 5 or 6 and learned it in Sunday school. I remember I was able to grasp this one so easily and I still don't know why.
The church I learned this in we attended for a time. It was a big 'ole Baptist church in town. I remember the Sunday schools were held in a house right next to the church. We must have attended it until I was 8 or 9. I can still remember feeling all grown up walking from Sunday school and into the main church to sit with my Mom & brother. I remember watching my Mom take notes in her Bible.
It was on the steps of this church I also made my brother extremely angry with me one Sunday. Not that it was the first (or last) time I did it. We has just returned from our yearly vacation to the Outer Banks. My brother had found THE biggest seashell ever. This thing was huge and beautiful. For some reason it found its way into my hands that morning. Those were the last hands that touched it that day also. Yes, I dropped it and it shattered into pieces. I remember seeing my Mom's face, then slowly looking at my older brother...then hiding behind my Mom. Yes, we still talk about it to this day. I was the worst sister in the world that sunny Sunday.
It's amazing to me how influential Sunday mornings are. The memories of those days stick out more than any other. Getting breakfast, going to church in our best, Sunday lunches after church... I only can hope that the Sunday's I give to my boys gives them memories like I have...minus dropping a monster seashell. :)
This verse has special meaning to me. It was the first verse that I ever memorized. I was about 5 or 6 and learned it in Sunday school. I remember I was able to grasp this one so easily and I still don't know why.
The church I learned this in we attended for a time. It was a big 'ole Baptist church in town. I remember the Sunday schools were held in a house right next to the church. We must have attended it until I was 8 or 9. I can still remember feeling all grown up walking from Sunday school and into the main church to sit with my Mom & brother. I remember watching my Mom take notes in her Bible.
It was on the steps of this church I also made my brother extremely angry with me one Sunday. Not that it was the first (or last) time I did it. We has just returned from our yearly vacation to the Outer Banks. My brother had found THE biggest seashell ever. This thing was huge and beautiful. For some reason it found its way into my hands that morning. Those were the last hands that touched it that day also. Yes, I dropped it and it shattered into pieces. I remember seeing my Mom's face, then slowly looking at my older brother...then hiding behind my Mom. Yes, we still talk about it to this day. I was the worst sister in the world that sunny Sunday.
It's amazing to me how influential Sunday mornings are. The memories of those days stick out more than any other. Getting breakfast, going to church in our best, Sunday lunches after church... I only can hope that the Sunday's I give to my boys gives them memories like I have...minus dropping a monster seashell. :)
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Care Packages??
So my countdown to ****'s return has begun officially today. I've got 28 Sunday's until I see his sweet face again. What a spring/summer it is going to be for me!! I took some vacation days from work to spend with him and we had an amazing time. Lot's of talking and hugging and more hugging. ;) Even a fire in the hotel at 230 am! Not a goodbye I think we will be soon forgetting!
So now comes my duty as 'the best girlfriend ever'...care packages. What do I send? He is addicted, yes I say addicted to Monster. I do coffee, he drinks his Monster's. He claims that while he is in the sandbox he does not drink them. Smart boy, nothing but dehydration will come from that. He has already told me no sweets (where is the fun in that!!) So what do I send??? I have a few ideas but I need some more. There is a pizza joint from our hometown that he loves. I will be back in WV in two weeks and I think I'm going to stop in and see if they can ship to the troops. He said he can get pretty much anything that he needs from the base store, but I don't care about that. I want to send things that come from me. I want him to look forward to my packages and know that they are sent with love & thoughts of him.
So now comes my duty as 'the best girlfriend ever'...care packages. What do I send? He is addicted, yes I say addicted to Monster. I do coffee, he drinks his Monster's. He claims that while he is in the sandbox he does not drink them. Smart boy, nothing but dehydration will come from that. He has already told me no sweets (where is the fun in that!!) So what do I send??? I have a few ideas but I need some more. There is a pizza joint from our hometown that he loves. I will be back in WV in two weeks and I think I'm going to stop in and see if they can ship to the troops. He said he can get pretty much anything that he needs from the base store, but I don't care about that. I want to send things that come from me. I want him to look forward to my packages and know that they are sent with love & thoughts of him.
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