Simply Life

Disgusted

2009-03-09T16:09:00.003-04:00

There are horrible events that happen all over the world at every second of the day. We don't know about them, until it happens close to home. Over the weekend here a 13 year old girl was murdered. She went out for a jog and never returned. Her body was found shortly after. She was a talented and gifted child attending a school for creative and performing arts. It is a tragic story.

What is more tragic is the man who is accused of killing her has a long history. This is a prime example of why something needs done to our justice system. Here is a short list of what this man has done in the past:

-Was sentenced in 1987 to spend seven to 25 years in prison on charges of voluntary manslaughter and aggravated arson. He was 18 at the time, was charged with murder and arson for assaulting a woman, dousing her with lighter fluid and setting fire to her. He served 16 years and was released on parole Sept. 3, 2003

-That October he was released from probation for that crime.

-Three months later he was accused of breaking into a woman’s home and raping her. He was acquitted of that charge.

-In 2007, he was found guilty of putting a knife to the neck of an 18-month-old child.

- That same year he was accused of exposing himself to a 13-year-old girl.

- Was ordered to live at sex offenders program home where he was ordered to leave that facility on Feb. 27, after he was caught fighting with an inmate. He parole officer was notified and he could not be located. The search went on for a week..a warrant was issued for his arrest after he is accused of breaking into a man’s home and repeatedly stabbing him with scissors on March 1,

-Then five days later, he is accused of threatening the mother of his child with a knife, a violation of a protection order put in place in 2007

-Now this Sunday, March 15, the police finally found him and have arrested him for the murder of this 13 year old girl.

WHY??? This sickens me...I'm all for an 'eye for an eye'. Hey Obama...why don't we use some of the stimulus money for building more jail space for disgusting people like this and get tougher on them! This is just ridiculous.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of this little girl...

Spring!!

2009-03-07T13:04:00.003-05:00

Has it finally arrived?? As I type this I am sitting on my patio in short sleeves and sandals...is this real? It is March and there is no cold today? Is the end to winter finally in sight?
Don't get me wrong, I love the snow. I adore walking in it, seeing it fall and being bundled up. This winter, though, I've had it! :) I am more ready for the spring and summer than I have ever been. I think I say this every year though! Does that mean I am getting old??? Will I become a snowbird in 15 years? I doubt it, I love the seasons too much!
Short and sweet post, I'm off to enjoy this weather. Clean out my vehicle that has been screaming 'clean me!' for the past 2 weeks.

Hope the weather is just your style where you sit today! :)

The Past

2009-03-01T00:36:00.003-05:00

Why do I continue to let my past define me? Why do I continue to think that every man that I date(not that there have been a lot!) is ultimately going to cheat on me? Why do I think that they are all out to get and hurt me? That it is a man's intention to cheat on me? Why do I think like this? Why can't I let it go?

I jumped to the biggest and worst conclusion tonight. I didn't stop to think that *gasp* I could be wrong. I didn't stop to think that it was not what I thought. If I lose what I love, I have no one to blame but myself. Does the saying 'the devil made me do it?' work in this case? Will that save me?

I saw a picture online of **** and another service member(the female type) with a saying of how she missed him and couldn't wait to be in his arms. So what did I think???? Did I stop to think that IF he was going behind my back that he would not be adding her as a friend with that as a picture knowing full well that I would see it? No, I didn't. I let my past and what others have done to me come back to the front of my mind. I didn't put my trust in him like I said I would. Did I not remember something? That this is the same man that, 2 weeks after we started dating and there was nothing in stone that we were exclusive, told me that he had a date BEFORE he went on it? Did I not remember that there was nothing in stone at that point and he didn't have to tell me anything like that..but that he did it because he is an honest man?? No I didn't. I let Satan grab hold of me and my fears and totally play me.

I need to remember that Satan is not playing games. That he plays for keeps. That when he slings dirt he does it to hurt and hurt hard. I can hear him laughing at me right now. I can hear him saying that he did it this time...and won. No, the ultimate win will be if **** steps back and walks from me. If **** decides that I'm not worth the trouble. That is when he will truly win. I'm praying that is not what happens.

When am I going to learn that my past should not define me?

What to do...

2009-02-25T09:25:00.002-05:00

What to do about my ex husband. Long story made short. After 8 years of marriage and two kids, he cheated on me and got the woman pregnant. Left me and the kids(quite possibly use the word abandon) to move in with her. He became the nastiest man around and did a Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde on me. I am no saint but I did what I had to do to protect the boys and I. After a nasty divorce, insert surprise surprise here, he and the woman split up. He and I became friendly. I gave the whole thing over to God and forgave him for all he had done. I became a much happier person and Mom.

Fast forward...I go out of my way to make a good relationship with him. I have even babysat his fiance's kids for free. Twice!! Once because she was in a bind and the second time so they could go out! Since she is going to be his wife, I've made every effort to smooth things for the kids sake. I do like her, don't get me wrong. I think she is a sweet girl.

Lately, though, he has turned nasty again. He treats me like I am the one that has done him wrong. According to the divorce he has VERY limited visitation with the boys. I don't go by that though. I let him see them whenever he wants, he gets them on his days off. I don't think the boys should be dictated when they can see their Dad. I want there to be respect between he and I. There has been..but like I said, lately it has gone away on his part. He did not even have the boys call me on my birthday. I gave him a 2 week notice that I would be out of town with the boys on his days...so a day prior he gets on me and tells me that I should have reminded him. I'm not his wife anymore!! I should not have to do that! Over Christmas break he wanted me to PAY him to watch the boys so they would not have to go into daycare on their break.

I know this post is all over the place and I apologize, but it's frustrating. I'm doing my best to be a good Christian and to try to forgive and forget. I feel like I am falling short. The saying, the nice guy finishes last is how I feel. I feel like I am getting walked all over by him...how do I continue to do what I think is best for the boys...make this easier on them and still walk away with dignity on my part? For his wedding in May(I was invited) he wants me to help him out as much as possible with it. What??? Is that my job? To babysit the boys while he and his family and new family enjoy? I don't get it!!!

Just very frustrated right now...very frustrated.

7 Years Ago

2009-02-19T15:42:00.002-05:00

Seven years ago today, my baby munchkin(as I like to call him) came into this world. I am still trying to wrap my head around it. That my baby is 7! A walking, talking, reading, math-doing, funny little guy.

I spent 6 months sick as ever with him. He hardly ever moved but he sucked the life out of me. My hair was falling out, my nails were gone, I lost 25 lbs...one day I could eat one food and the next day I couldn't even think of it without becoming sick. I was convinced that I was having a girl. Even after the initial ultrasound that showed he was a boy, I thought they were wrong. I began to have growth ultrasounds starting at 34 weeks because of how big Wyatt had been born. From the start of the pregnancy I was told, depending on what they showed, I would be induced to prevent another big baby. Then the balloon busted. The Dr's met and decided against it. I remember crying to my midwife. Telling her how hard it was to recover from Wyatt. So imagine my surprise when I went in for my 35 week growth ultrasound and they told me he was about 9lbs 9oz!!
My midwife decided to do an exam just to 'see' if anything was progressing. Imagine her face & mine, when she told me I was 5cm dilated!!! She yelled at me to get upstairs to the labor deck. I told her I needed to go home and get my husband! lol When I came back to the house and grabbed my bag I told Dan that I was having him today, he didn't believe me. It wasn't until I stood at the door with my bag and putting shoes on Wyatt that he did.

Four hours later my Norm was born. A head full, and I mean a head full, of jet black hair. Not a peep was made by him. He was the quietest baby I've ever heard. He just curled right up with Momma...and went to sleep. It was love at first sight. He continues to be my little cuddler, my little partner...my snug bug.

Happy Birthday Logan!!!

**oh..the final weight 5 hours after the ultrasound....10lbs 10oz**** :)

Sunday Mornings

2009-02-07T11:13:00.002-05:00

Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)

This verse has special meaning to me. It was the first verse that I ever memorized. I was about 5 or 6 and learned it in Sunday school. I remember I was able to grasp this one so easily and I still don't know why.

The church I learned this in we attended for a time. It was a big 'ole Baptist church in town. I remember the Sunday schools were held in a house right next to the church. We must have attended it until I was 8 or 9. I can still remember feeling all grown up walking from Sunday school and into the main church to sit with my Mom & brother. I remember watching my Mom take notes in her Bible.
It was on the steps of this church I also made my brother extremely angry with me one Sunday. Not that it was the first (or last) time I did it. We has just returned from our yearly vacation to the Outer Banks. My brother had found THE biggest seashell ever. This thing was huge and beautiful. For some reason it found its way into my hands that morning. Those were the last hands that touched it that day also. Yes, I dropped it and it shattered into pieces. I remember seeing my Mom's face, then slowly looking at my older brother...then hiding behind my Mom. Yes, we still talk about it to this day. I was the worst sister in the world that sunny Sunday.

It's amazing to me how influential Sunday mornings are. The memories of those days stick out more than any other. Getting breakfast, going to church in our best, Sunday lunches after church... I only can hope that the Sunday's I give to my boys gives them memories like I have...minus dropping a monster seashell. :)

Care Packages??

2009-02-05T20:18:00.004-05:00

So my countdown to ****'s return has begun officially today. I've got 28 Sunday's until I see his sweet face again. What a spring/summer it is going to be for me!! I took some vacation days from work to spend with him and we had an amazing time. Lot's of talking and hugging and more hugging. ;) Even a fire in the hotel at 230 am! Not a goodbye I think we will be soon forgetting!

So now comes my duty as 'the best girlfriend ever'...care packages. What do I send? He is addicted, yes I say addicted to Monster. I do coffee, he drinks his Monster's. He claims that while he is in the sandbox he does not drink them. Smart boy, nothing but dehydration will come from that. He has already told me no sweets (where is the fun in that!!) So what do I send??? I have a few ideas but I need some more. There is a pizza joint from our hometown that he loves. I will be back in WV in two weeks and I think I'm going to stop in and see if they can ship to the troops. He said he can get pretty much anything that he needs from the base store, but I don't care about that. I want to send things that come from me. I want him to look forward to my packages and know that they are sent with love & thoughts of him.

Party

2009-02-03T14:19:00.005-05:00

So my 'real-life' friend Michelle is having a blog party. A what??? I have no idea what I am doing since I am so new to this world. I am going to be a good sport and play along. I'm not going to promise that I will post every day because that is a lot and I have NO clue how she does it.

So my word is Love

First off, I love these two monkeys...

They are my joy, my passion. They make me laugh & they make me cry(sometimes within minutes of each other!). One look at them erases any and all discomforts of ,42 weeks with Wyatt & 36 horrible weeks with Logan, pregnancy. They drive everything that I do. If not for them...my life would be too simple. I really don't know what I did before them.

Less than a Week

2009-01-31T11:58:00.003-05:00

Less than a week is all I have left with my man(yes! that one that I was stressing about!) He is being deployed for 6 months. I keep telling myself that it's better than a year, it's only a few months, he'll be back by the end of the summer...is it working?? Eehh, the verdict is still out on that one. What I am doing is putting my trust in God that He will lead me and keep me safe. He will keep **** safe also.

I was lucky enough to get to be snowed in with him this week. Wow, this place just shuts down when it snows! It still makes me laugh how it happens. I grew up in WV where snow was a common winter experience. Here it is a totally different story. I do admit that we did receive a good amount though. I think my town had about 9 1/2 inches. There was ice on top/middle/bottom of the snow also. That is what made everything worse.

It is so pretty when it snows. I'm a snow gal. I like the way it sounds when you walk on fresh snow. I like the way it glistens in the snow. I think my favorite is at night though. It is so bright, so beautiful and so quiet. You can almost hear the snow falling at night. It makes the world look peaceful and calm. There is nothing prettier than untouched snow fields under the moon. BEAUTIFUL!!!

25 Things About me

2009-01-24T14:59:00.001-05:00

Stealing this from my Facebook notes...

1. I thank God each and every day for what He has done.

2. I tend to be a clutz. The older I get, the worse it gets. Tripping over invisible holes is the most common..

3. I have the most amazing friends in the world.

4. My heart was shattered into a million pieces a few years ago...and surprisingly it was the best thing that EVER happened to me.

5. Without #3 I would have never have made it thru #4.

6. Joining the Marine Corps was an amazing experience.

7. My boys are rotten to the core and are also the sweetest things in life to me.

8. I am running my first 5K in 3 weeks and I am SO not ready for it!

9. I am what I say I am, I'm too old to play games. Life is way too short for it.

10. There is someone very special in my life right now...it's amazing how comfortable I am around him in such a short time.

11. In regards to #10, we both have walls that we have to tear down still.

12. I miss living in WV more than I thought I ever would.

13. I'm ecstatic that the Pittsburgh Steelers are headed back to the Super Bowl!!

14. As much as I complain about my job...I really do like it and the people I work with.

15. There is nothing like a glass of red wine!!

16. I have no regrets...

17. While my kids can play video games...I completely and totally suck at them! Where is the Atari??

18. My mind is always running...which leads me to over think things WAY too much!

19. My Dad spoils me more every year! There are even times I feel bad about it!!! lol

20. I love Jeeps!

21. I enjoy my boys more and more every day. I love watching them get older. They are rotten, but they are also the sweetest most caring children ever. They can make my emotions go from one extreme to another.

22. I like to be scared by scary movies and haunted houses.

23. I've never broken a bone, but have had stitches several times.

24. I love to dance...with my boys and with a certain someone...

25. I never imagined in a million years that I would be living in Cincinnati and actually like it!

Update

2009-01-20T22:57:00.003-05:00

Just a 'lil update. Things are all good on the home front. God is good. I've really opened my ears to Him. I've stepped back and looked at things a different way, turned it over to Him. Going back to how I should be...'He is a lamp to my feet'. I may only be able to see 3 feet ahead of me right now, but I am trusting in the Lord.

Why do I struggle so much!! :) lol

Words of Wisdom

2009-01-14T22:06:00.001-05:00

Just got this from a friend of mine...whew...she made me smile. :)

I think it is awesome how great you look and how well you are doing for yourself. If XXXX is freaked out, let him be. As my Grandma Dolly always said don't worry another bus is probably already coming around the corner. Sometimes, I wish I had taken her advice.

I have realized you teach people how to treat you. If he doesn't realize how wonderful you are, someone else will.

Confused

2009-01-14T21:48:00.002-05:00

This may be a little sappy for some. Little personal for others. I just want to know what makes others 'tick'?
I mean, what makes someone tell you that they 'really like you' but then say that it scares them, and they go on a date with someone else? What makes a man say I want you to be in the airport when I land(from a 6 month deployment) but then in the same breath say that they don't want a relationship? What makes a person tell you that they are so relaxed around you and so attracted to you turn around and walk away?
Again I'm leaning on My Father to help me understand this. I'm waiting on Him to take my heart that is crushing and make it 'alright'. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not in love with this man. Could I be at some point? Sure I could. There is still plenty to learn, time that I would need to know whether there is a place in my life for him....but does that deserve a chance?
I made the mistake of telling him what was on my mind and weighing on my heart. That I was falling for him faster than I liked. I scared him off. Why?
A friend told me that at least he was honest in the fact that he was going on a date with someone. This is true. He could easily have hid it. No doubt about that one. Why though? Was it an attempt to push me away because he knew it would work? Was it easy for him?
I'm so confused by all of this. So darn confused!! My mind is racing in a million different places, which it always does. How do I slow it down enough to hear God? To hear what He has to say to me about all of this and this storm of my life? Can I do it? Is it possible?

Am I wrong? Should I rejoice in the fact that this man was honest with me? Give it a chance, continue to see him as a 'dating' thing? I'm not one to date more than one at a time. I can't do it. It messes with my head? Do I stay true to myself? How would I know if while he is with me he's not thinking about another one?

Am I just being a 'girl' here and blowing this out of proportion???

Faith

2009-01-08T16:28:00.004-05:00

I'm continuing to work on turning it all over to Him. The past few days have given me plenty to give over to Him!! I'm not going to admit that it has been easy..I can feel myself wanting to take 'control'.

I came across this quote and enjoyed it..

No matter how steep the mountain - the Lord is going to climb it with you.

- Helen Steiner Rice

Worries...

2009-01-06T08:24:00.002-05:00

'Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you' 1 Peter 5:7

As some of you know...this is something I am always struggling to do. I tend to worry. A lot. It's funny, because I know that I am supposed to turn all of my worries and anxieties over to Him. He will take care of them. I struggle with control. I want to have control over my emotions and circumstances of my life. I should know by now that it does not work. When I finally turn things over, I am so much more at ease. More relaxed. More at peace. The things God can do!!

Case in point. I have recently started a new relationship. This is a man that I knew from high school. We have not seen each other in almost 14 years though. Thanks to social networking(got to love the internet!) we reconnected and found out we live close to one another. It started like any normal friendship. Texts during Steeler games, a few phone calls here and there. Then we met for dinner after both of us having a free evening.

Wow..I was hooked. I tried to take it all in at first. Told myself that it was just nice having dinner and seeing an old friend. I turned it to God and thanked him for bringing an old friend back into my life. Then New Years Eve happened. It was that evening that I fell. I realized that I wanted to spend more time with him. I wanted to learn more about him. I wanted him around me. I wanted to get to know this man as much more than friends.

Then Satan came in.

He knows my weakness. He plays dirty. He doesn't play games. He hits you hardest where he knows he can grab you and take you. He came into my thoughts and made me think that this guy is going to be like the rest. He is going to cheat, and break my heart. He's only playing games. I'm not worth it. Why would I be worthy of feeling so good? Satan got to me.

'Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.' Philippians 4:6

I came across that verse in an email. WOW! So that is what I did. I told Him that I needed help getting Satan off my back. I want to enjoy this relationship, but I will let His Will determine that. Satan tried and he got me for a day or two. But the power of God and the power of prayer fought back and won.

That is my resolution this year. To not worry. I'm going to do what scripture tells me to do and turn all my cares, worries and anxieties over to my Creator....

Happy Birthday!!

2008-12-24T09:05:00.003-05:00

Isaiah 7:14, "Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel."

My stepfather has a wonderful, funny tradition on Christmas morning. He exclaims 'Happy Birthday Baby Jesus!!'. It never fails to make me smile and laugh. What a wondrous thing that we celebrate tomorrow. We celebrate a birth that happened over 2000 years ago!! A birth that has saved us all. A birth that will be the attention of millions and millions around the world. Just think about it....how awesome is that? How awesome is our God?? To give us His only Son. Normally you get a gift for the birthday person...but this time...we received the gift. It's awesome and wonderful

Happy Birthday Baby Jesus and Merry Christmas to everyone!!

Exhausted

2008-12-10T11:55:00.002-05:00

Well, Wyatt broke his ankle this past Saturday. He and Logan were sledding down a hill at their Dad's house and didn't jump in time to miss the tree straight in their path. So my little one now has a full leg cast. Covered in blue fiberglass all the way up to his mid thigh. I swear the thing is bigger than he is.

If I understand it completely(which is not all the time) it is broke on the inside & outside of the ankle right at the growth plate. The reason for the full cast is to keep anything on that leg from moving. Because of where the break is at, it could possibly cause early arthritis. They did a CT scan on him today, tomorrow is the follow up for the results of the scan. That was done to make sure that the cast is set just right so the ankle heals properly. If not, then it could grow funny and he would have a shorter leg. Great...just what I wanted to hear.

We are coping. He refuses to let his Dad & Jessica see him cry in pain. So ,yup, he saves it all for me. I know this will come to pass, but man am I tired!! After working all day I don't get to 'sit & relax' until at least 830. Then it was only for a few moments. Then Wyatt has not been sleeping well due to all of the adjustments. Just been very trying.

Both Wyatt and I thanked God while we were in the ER Saturday evening. It could have been much, much worse. His head could have hit the tree. We are both thankful & grateful for it. I looked over at him after the Dr told him that is was broken. His little head was bowed down. I asked him what he prayed for. He said that he asked to have the cast off in time for football season...because, 'football is my life Mom!'.

Oh my, what a boy! :)

Fun times

2008-12-03T15:40:00.002-05:00

I know..been awhile! Geesh with the holidays and work and the boys, it seems that I don't have time for anything lately! I had to share the funniest story of the day though.

It is early in the morning as the boys and I trudge out the door of our home and into a cold Jeep. Usually they have both climbed into my bed sometime during the night.(A habit I can't seem to break the younger one of!) So needless to say the 3 of us are not morning people.

SO the first mile down the road Wyatt yawns. I look at him and say 'Hey, quit that! You are making me yawn!"

**bet you just Y-A-W-N-E-D right now!!***

So Wyatt asks how can him yawning make me yawn. I told him it's contagious. He, in his 9 yr old attitude, says 'No it's not Mom'. Sure enough..there I go. He claimed I just did it on purpose. Can you imagine that? A parent doing something just to prove a point??!!

I told him to try it on his own. We were stopped at a red light and there was a car on his side since we were making a left hand turn. I told him when the guy looked at us to look at him and yawn. So the guy finally did...nothing. Then all of a sudden as the light is turning green Wyatt and Logan both busted out with the biggest giggles ever. THE MAN YAWNED!!!!!

So you can guess what they did the rest of the way to latchkey. They were so amused by it. I walked out of the school after dropping them off and just laughed all the way to work. Amazing how something like that can make them giggle that much, that early!!

**So how many times did you do it? For the record. Mine was 9 times, whoops, make that 10. ***

A Purpose

2008-11-18T09:41:00.001-05:00

I have heard this several times in the past. It never fails to bring a tear to my eye though. It is a video worth sharing over and over again.

Veterans Day and More

2008-11-11T15:58:00.003-05:00

The past two days are a special part of the year for me. But it really was only 13 years ago that they came to have 'true' meaning to me.

November 10, 1775 was the birth of the United States Marine Corps. To Marines young and old it is a day to remember those that came before us and those that will come after us. It is a day deep in tradition for the Marine Corps. Wherever you are at...Marines make a toast to the Corps. Just blogging this gives me chills. Throughout boot camp we are schooled in the rich history of our Corps. To really realize those that paved the way for is amazing. Marines honor names like Iwo Jima, Belleau Wood, Fallajuh. Marines like Dan Smedley & Chesty Puller.
To attend a Marine Corps Birthday Ball is simply amazing. I attended one before I joined the Marines and thought it 'neat'. The first one I attended as a Marine was truly outstanding. I remember sitting thru the ceremony and realizing that I was 'one of them'. I was a Marine...these were my brothers and sisters. I consider it an honor and a privilege to have served. I will continue to do so until my last breath.
Ronald Reagan once said, "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they've made a differnce. The Marines don't have that problem."

Today is the second special day. It is a day to remember ALL of those who have fought and served for our country. It is a time to reflect on the real meaning of 'some gave all, all gave some' philosophy. Orginally termed Armistance Day. It marked the end of fighting of WW 1 on the Western Front. The fighting was to cease 'at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11 month' in 1918. Over the years the name has changed to Rememberence Day to finally Veterans Day and it is celebrated in all Allied countries still today. Most mark it with a 2 minute silence at 11am. It is a day that all veterans of all branchs are reconized.

It shouldn't be that way....anytime you see a veteran you should thank them. The mere fact that they signed the dotted line and gave to their country is heroic. The saying is right... Some did give all, but all gave some.

A favorite

2008-11-01T19:14:00.001-04:00

This is one of my favorite songs....

Friends

2008-11-01T11:45:00.003-04:00

I have the most amazing friends.
They have been there for me time and time again to share in my joys, my triumphs and my heartaches. They've given me some truly great advice(that I listen to most of the time!) I can not thank them enough for everything they give me. I'm usually not one who is at a loss of words, but I really will never ever know how to thank them other than being the same kind of friend to them.
I have a girlfriend from high school...I don't know what I would do without her. She makes me laugh, she makes me cry...she is awesome. I've mentioned her before. She is a unique being! We are so alike, but so darn different!
One girlfriend and I have been thru military life, the war, births of our children, both of our divorces, her new marriage, ages & stages of our children. She has been a support to me. Someone who makes me laugh until I cry. There is no one like her EVER! I hope that our plans for the summer work out because I am going to give her the biggest and longest hug known to mankind!! It's been WAY too long since we've seen each other in person!
I have a friend who used to be a neighbor. Funny thing is, I think since we have moved from that street our friendship has grown stronger and better than when we lived a few houses away.
I have friends from the Corps that will always be there. They are my sounding board. They understand the quirky way that we Marines think. Yes, they are men(imagine that!) Whoever said that men and women can not be close friends without a relationship is wrong. It is possible. I'm proof of that. They give me the 'real scoop' on my relationships with men. They tell me that 'he's playing you', to 'he's into you, but scared'. They even tell me when I'm out of line and I'm never offended. They give me the truth and never sugarcoat it.
I could go on and on naming each one of my friends that mean the world to me...but then this would be one heck of long post! It's funny how when you are younger, quantity of friends meant something different, but the older I get I can't believe that I used to think that. It's the quality of a friend that matters.
I only trust that since God has blessed me with a network of friends that I can lean on...that I can be the same kind of friend that they are to me.

Loved, cherished & adored.

Protection from Life

2008-10-29T15:39:00.003-04:00

'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

I got this in an email the other day. How true it is....
We may often wonder why He did this 'to us'. Why would He put us in a place 'like this'. I know I do. There have been many times in my past I've wondered it.

I clearly remember a time I thought that. It was about 2 weeks after my husband left me for another woman. He had gotten her pregant too. Me..I still wanted it 'to work'. I was not willing to give up on my marriage. No matter what. I knew it would be hard. I knew it would very tough. I was wanting it to work though. He was the one who I had gave my life to. Who I had bore children for. So I wrote him a letter letting him know this. Giving him so ideas as to how we could work it out. I reassured him that I was very angry but I still loved him. I still wanted our marriage to work. At the end of the letter I told him that if he believed the same as me...to come home that night. I told him to walk into the door of 'our home' with 'our children'. Nothing would be said. We would just start fresh.

After I delivered that letter, I went to the church garden and prayed. I must have sat in that garden for 2 hours. I was down on my knees. Praying to our Father to let this be. To please just let him come back to our family. I cried out to Him for his help. Then I went home.

I waited and waited. Waited to hear the sound of his car pulling into the driveway. Waited to hear the click of his keys in the door. I think I waited until 4 in the morning. I had nothing. He was not there. He did not call. My heart broke even more than it had 2 weeks prior if that was possible.

I cried out to God again.Why? Why have You put me here. Why did you do this to me? How could a loving God do this? I did not get it.

Well 2 years later, I thank God everyday for it. I am a much happier person. I'm a much better Mother. I realized that in 9 years of marriage I lost myself. I lost my faith. I was not 'me'. Father did not take me somewhere that he would not protect me in. He did protect me!! He brought me thru the storm I was in!! Sure I have rough times, but I put my faith and trust in the Lord. He has never failed me. He never will. He will protect me!!

Random

2008-10-22T21:20:00.002-04:00

I haven't blogged in awhile. I've been slack on it. Do I have things to say? Yes, I have plenty. Do I want to share them all...some I do and some I don't.

Life in general is happening. I'm trying my best to keep turning if over to Him. I really am. I find myself more at peace with the events that I am weathering. I know that is what He wants me to do. I struggle with that. I've learned so much(especially in the last few months) that I need to give up my control. I know that He will take care of me. He always has and always will.

I worry about if I'm a good enough Mother to my kids. Am I doing as good as I can with them? Am I teaching them enough. Do I have enough time to teach them all that I want them to know before they are too old? I know that with Wyatt, at least, I have guided him to explore his faith. He has that...sometimes I think his faith is stronger than mine! Am I doing a good enough job with Logan though? Am I doing as much as I should be doing? Or is it just his age? I pray every night that He willl guide me as to how to raise them strong in their faith.

Just the other day Wyatt was going to wear a 'church' shirt to school. Then he stopped. He was afraid that the other kids would make fun of him, or if they asked him a question he wouldn't know the answer. So I prayed as to how to reassure him...I came across THE best devotion about it. We read it and prayed about it together...guess what? He wore the shirt the next day and raved about it!!! God is great!!

I worry so much about so many things...but I need to stop. God is taking care of me.

Here we go...

2008-10-14T19:01:00.003-04:00

A welcome phone call at work today made me realize that
a. school is back in full swing
b. fall/winter is very close by
b. which also means that cold and flu season has returned.

After a lunch with some coworkers I was getting settled back into my desk and email...when the school calls. Seems he had gotten sick and running a small fever. Oh no! So I closed up and let work know I was leaving.

So here we are. Water glass, blankets, pajamas and the ever present 'puke bucket' :) Ugh..so not ready for this!!

Wyatt enjoyed it though. He's not sick and he got to ride the bus home instead of staying in the after school program. Who knew that the bus was that much fun!