This may be a little sappy for some. Little personal for others. I just want to know what makes others 'tick'?
I mean, what makes someone tell you that they 'really like you' but then say that it scares them, and they go on a date with someone else? What makes a man say I want you to be in the airport when I land(from a 6 month deployment) but then in the same breath say that they don't want a relationship? What makes a person tell you that they are so relaxed around you and so attracted to you turn around and walk away?
Again I'm leaning on My Father to help me understand this. I'm waiting on Him to take my heart that is crushing and make it 'alright'. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not in love with this man. Could I be at some point? Sure I could. There is still plenty to learn, time that I would need to know whether there is a place in my life for him....but does that deserve a chance?
I made the mistake of telling him what was on my mind and weighing on my heart. That I was falling for him faster than I liked. I scared him off. Why?
A friend told me that at least he was honest in the fact that he was going on a date with someone. This is true. He could easily have hid it. No doubt about that one. Why though? Was it an attempt to push me away because he knew it would work? Was it easy for him?
I'm so confused by all of this. So darn confused!! My mind is racing in a million different places, which it always does. How do I slow it down enough to hear God? To hear what He has to say to me about all of this and this storm of my life? Can I do it? Is it possible?
Am I wrong? Should I rejoice in the fact that this man was honest with me? Give it a chance, continue to see him as a 'dating' thing? I'm not one to date more than one at a time. I can't do it. It messes with my head? Do I stay true to myself? How would I know if while he is with me he's not thinking about another one?
Am I just being a 'girl' here and blowing this out of proportion???
Plum
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- ~ Lori ~
- Single Mom taking this journey through life. Learning every day something new.
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1 comments:
*hugs* You've been hurt so many times that trust is something that isn't coming easy with you (when it comes to men). I can see it in your words today. Yes, he was honest, and that's a good thing, however, it seems you both aren't in the same place right now. Spend some time with God...tell Him how you are feeling and ask for direction. I know He will give it to you.
Can I say, when Kevin and I were dating, we both decided from the get-go that we didn't want anything serious...but the day he said he was going to go out with someone else, my heart broke. I told him...after some time thinking on his part, he too realized that he was trying to push me away...he had been hurt by his ex.
I'm praying for you sweetie. *hugs*
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