Protection from Life

'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

I got this in an email the other day. How true it is....
We may often wonder why He did this 'to us'. Why would He put us in a place 'like this'. I know I do. There have been many times in my past I've wondered it.

I clearly remember a time I thought that. It was about 2 weeks after my husband left me for another woman. He had gotten her pregant too. Me..I still wanted it 'to work'. I was not willing to give up on my marriage. No matter what. I knew it would be hard. I knew it would very tough. I was wanting it to work though. He was the one who I had gave my life to. Who I had bore children for. So I wrote him a letter letting him know this. Giving him so ideas as to how we could work it out. I reassured him that I was very angry but I still loved him. I still wanted our marriage to work. At the end of the letter I told him that if he believed the same as me...to come home that night. I told him to walk into the door of 'our home' with 'our children'. Nothing would be said. We would just start fresh.

After I delivered that letter, I went to the church garden and prayed. I must have sat in that garden for 2 hours. I was down on my knees. Praying to our Father to let this be. To please just let him come back to our family. I cried out to Him for his help. Then I went home.

I waited and waited. Waited to hear the sound of his car pulling into the driveway. Waited to hear the click of his keys in the door. I think I waited until 4 in the morning. I had nothing. He was not there. He did not call. My heart broke even more than it had 2 weeks prior if that was possible.

I cried out to God again.Why? Why have You put me here. Why did you do this to me? How could a loving God do this? I did not get it.

Well 2 years later, I thank God everyday for it. I am a much happier person. I'm a much better Mother. I realized that in 9 years of marriage I lost myself. I lost my faith. I was not 'me'. Father did not take me somewhere that he would not protect me in. He did protect me!! He brought me thru the storm I was in!! Sure I have rough times, but I put my faith and trust in the Lord. He has never failed me. He never will. He will protect me!!

Random

I haven't blogged in awhile. I've been slack on it. Do I have things to say? Yes, I have plenty. Do I want to share them all...some I do and some I don't.

Life in general is happening. I'm trying my best to keep turning if over to Him. I really am. I find myself more at peace with the events that I am weathering. I know that is what He wants me to do. I struggle with that. I've learned so much(especially in the last few months) that I need to give up my control. I know that He will take care of me. He always has and always will.

I worry about if I'm a good enough Mother to my kids. Am I doing as good as I can with them? Am I teaching them enough. Do I have enough time to teach them all that I want them to know before they are too old? I know that with Wyatt, at least, I have guided him to explore his faith. He has that...sometimes I think his faith is stronger than mine! Am I doing a good enough job with Logan though? Am I doing as much as I should be doing? Or is it just his age? I pray every night that He willl guide me as to how to raise them strong in their faith.

Just the other day Wyatt was going to wear a 'church' shirt to school. Then he stopped. He was afraid that the other kids would make fun of him, or if they asked him a question he wouldn't know the answer. So I prayed as to how to reassure him...I came across THE best devotion about it. We read it and prayed about it together...guess what? He wore the shirt the next day and raved about it!!! God is great!!

I worry so much about so many things...but I need to stop. God is taking care of me.

Here we go...

A welcome phone call at work today made me realize that
a. school is back in full swing
b. fall/winter is very close by
b. which also means that cold and flu season has returned.

After a lunch with some coworkers I was getting settled back into my desk and email...when the school calls. Seems he had gotten sick and running a small fever. Oh no! So I closed up and let work know I was leaving.

So here we are. Water glass, blankets, pajamas and the ever present 'puke bucket' :) Ugh..so not ready for this!!

Wyatt enjoyed it though. He's not sick and he got to ride the bus home instead of staying in the after school program. Who knew that the bus was that much fun!

I am an Auntie again!!

So last week as I was out finishing up some errands for work my phone rings. It's my little sister. I knew she had her Dr. appt that day. I picked it up and said 'I'll call you right back Ang!' Then I heard her crying.

I stopped. Just stopped.

She went on to explain that she had just came back from her ultrasound.(She was 38 weeks) They saw on the screen that the cord was wrapped twice around little baby boy's neck. So they were admitting her. I told her that I was on my way. I arranged for my boys' wonderful soon-to-be-stepmom(more on that one later!) to pick them up. I said a big 'ole prayer and went home to throw some clothes and headed to West Virginia.

I get to the hospital around 930. They admitted her at 8 and were going to try to ripen her cervix with some meds. Baby wasn't having it though. His heart rate was really high. But it was not a worry. She had been stressed the majority of the day and he was up and bouncing around! I spent a good while in the room then joined my stepmom in the waiting room for a night sleep. :)
They started pitocin on Ang at 6, broke water at 8, epidural at 1030. Yes..they were letting her labor!! Trust me, was not sitting well with us!!

Being a teacher, my sister was very concerned about lack of oxygen and brain defects..but she had all the confidence in her Dr.

So 12 hours and many prayers later...Lane Houston was born!! 7lbs 11oz and the cord wrapped 3times around!! But it was very long and loose.

Baby and Momma are doing awesome! He's adorable and I'm so happy and VERY proud of my sister!!